Friday, August 18, 2017


My life.

My reason.

Here are a couple photos from our little mini vacation up to Rogers City Michigan. We wanted to go to Washington but with me being ready to have baby Asher there just was no way I wanted to travel that far. It's been a crazy couple of years for us. With just having a baby to expecting another one. I know it's rough for our older ones. Its a lot within a short time. These 2 though they are amazing! They don't complain, they go with the flow and take whatever life throws at them. They are so kind hearted and loving I couldn't ask for 2 better older siblings for Cohen and Asher to look up to.


Wednesday, August 09, 2017


Update on our little one. In a previous post I said I was due in October, well after we had an ultrasound done we were surprised to find out that I am due in September, September 4th to be exact. Yes, that date is approaching VERY fast. I had a doctors appointment today and he asked me if my bags were packed. I stated well no, should they be? With a chuckle he said yes. I'm go to go anytime. 

We found out that we are having another little boy. My poor daughter is out numbered. 3 brothers, 1 older brother and going to be 2 younger brothers. I'm not going to lie I was a bit disappointed. I really just wanted to experience having another little girl. I mean I got to experience having another little boy and I'm very blessed and overjoyed about it. I just knew that THIS one would be our last and I just wanted to have another little girl. I will admit I cried while sorting through all of Sarai's little girl cloths. The thought that I will not having another little girl doing dance broke my heart. The sweet pink girlie dresses and outfits which included hair bows, tight's and frilly things. 
It's hard especially with my pregnancy hormones to come to the realization that.. THIS IS MY VERY LAST BABY. It's like I'm closing a chapter of my life. Just lets me know that I truly am getting older (white hairs don't help). God has blessed us with 4 children and I am more than thankful for them all. Children truly are a miracle and I am so blessed to have gotten to experience not only once but 4 times. Every time I see my children or feel this one move I get emotional thinking about what a blessing it is and how this one will be my last. When I start to complain about the backaches and shortness of breath I remind myself this is the last one and I take a moment to really enjoy even the unpleasant moments of pregnancy. 

So in 4 very short weeks we will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new bundle of joy.  


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Raising Spoiled Children

@sleeping should be easy

As a parent we all wonder if we are doing the right things raising our children. I know that as a parent raising 3 kids ages 1-14 with one on the way I think a lot about how my children will be once they are grown up. Have I taught them everything they need to know to make it out in this crazy world, have I taught them to be a good human being, did I raise them to know wrong from right. We all want to say "oh, no my child wouldn't do that" or "my child is a good kid" but in reality that's not always true. Our children as much as we would like to believe it are not perfect. It is not our job to make them perfect, our job as parents is to in still in them what it takes to be a functioning adult who is a good person that is understanding and fair. 

If there is one thing I can not stand it is a child who is spoiled. A child who acts as if they are entitled to everything and anything they want. A child who has to have the new toy that everyone is wanting. I've come across a lot of different types of children who are spoiled. What parents need to realize is you are not doing your child or children any favors by giving into them with whatever it is they may wont on this particular day. I've heard many different reasons to spoiling their children. "I want them to have what I never did growing up" " we didn't have a lot growing up" "I do not want my kids to have to work as hard as I did" Look, I get it really I do. Growing up as a kid my family didn't have much, but my Grandparents instilled into me values that I used til this day and try to instill into my children. Like working for what you want. Once your in the real world as an adult your boss isn't just going to hand you that promotion you want, you will need to work hard to show them you deserve it. Spoiling your child doesn't only hurt them when it comes to the work field but when it comes to making friends and being social. I can tell  you from being around spoiled children it is not fun. I sometimes find myself not wanting to be around them, counting down the minutes until they leave. Their whole personality is very ugly and absolutely without a doubt unpleasant to be around. The sad thing is no one wants to be around them, no one wants to play with them or be their friend and I really hate to say it but even being an adult I do not want to be around them. When your child has had issues with pretty much every person who watched them and has told you they can't watch them anymore along with the fact that they do not have very many friends I think it's time to realize you have a problem. 


Friday, May 12, 2017

Well, hello.

Guess what?!

We are expecting another little miracle. I'm due in October. Yes, we did just have a baby last February, he is 1 years old.

As of right now I am sitting at 17 weeks 4 days. I can not believe that I'm almost half way through this pregnancy. My how it has flown by. I think that it has gone so fast because this is without a doubt our last one. We thought Cohen would be our last one. We kinda tossed around the "idea" of having another one, but most certainly not this soon! God had other plans in mind and you know what, I'm OK with that. Children truly are a blessing. I mean as much as mine drive me crazy I could not imagine my life any other way. I truly am happy.

The bump!


Monday, March 20, 2017


Feeling really broken right now. I feel very lost in my faith right now. I'm trying to hold myself together trying to make sense of things. I guess we really don't know the struggles that others are going through. That whole saying about what goes on behind closed doors.

I wish that I could be more open to the problems and issues that I am going through, but there are very few people that I feel open with to be able to share those things with. I feel like I need to uphold a certain image. That if I open up to just anyone they will judge me. That they will treat me differently. I feel embarrassed by my imperfections, that I need to wear a mask to hide who I really am. I try to be open with my imperfections, my mistakes and my wrong doings with God. He really is the only person that I need to answer to. All the other stuff he doesn't care about. As long as I'm true to him and honest about how much I believe and love him. He loves with even with all my baggage and imperfections.

Addiction sucks.

Addiction can take everything away from you. Addiction not only hurts you but those around you. It can be anything. Even being addicted to you cell phone can be a bad thing. Putting anything above God is always bad, but also putting it above your family and friends hurts too.

The hardest part is not knowing if your ok. Not knowing where you are. I failed you. I failed as family, friend, unbiological sister. I should have been there. I KNEW I should have been there. I was too wrapped up in my own problems and family life to check on you even when I KNEW I should have. I could see little signs, at the time I didn't believe them just brushed them off, but I should have paid more attention. You need someone and I wasn't there. It breaks my heart everyday I think about it.

I just wish you knew how much I love and care for you. I wish you knew that I am here for you.